Good Morning,

I have an embarrassing and hilarious story to share.

On Saturday, we let Caspian watch Labyrinth with us.

He’s five.

At first, he looked at the screen with deep suspicion.

“Mummy… is this a film for grown-ups?”

I realised what he meant. It wasn’t animated so he instantly assumed this wasn't for kids.

So I explained:

“Some films are made for families and they have real people in them. They’re not cartoons, but children can still watch them.”

He accepted this. We watched it. He loved it. All was well.

Then Monday morning arrived.

I took him to school, and as we arrived at the classroom door, Caspian beamed at his teacher and announced:

“My mummy and daddy let me watch an adult movie at the weekend!”

The teacher looked at me.

I looked at the teacher.

I went as red as a beetroot.

Then I started babbling.

“LABYRINTH! We watched Labyrinth! Not an adult movie. A family film. David Bowie. Goblins. Very wholesome. Well… mostly wholesome.”

Thankfully, the teacher burst out laughing.

And apparently, she spent the rest of the day giggling about it.

Now, here’s the language lesson.

Technically, Caspian wasn’t wrong.

He meant: “a film that looked like it was for grown-ups because it had real actors.”

But in English, the phrase adult movie has a very specific connotation.

It usually means pornography.

So when a five-year-old proudly announces that his parents let him watch an “adult movie”, people do not picture David Bowie in tights and a dramatic wig.

They picture something much, much worse.

This is the danger of choosing words that are technically correct… but socially disastrous.

A better phrase would have been:

“I watched a live-action film.”

Or:

“I watched a family film with real actors.”

Or, safest of all:

“I watched Labyrinth.”

Because words don’t just carry definitions.

They carry associations.

They create pictures in people’s minds.

And sometimes, the wrong picture can make your teacher glare at your mother at 8:45 on a Monday morning.

So this week, pay attention not only to what a word means, but what it suggests.

Pay attention to which words make people smile and which words make a mother want the ground to swallow her up.

I hope that story brightened up your day.

Your teacher,

Anna

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